A matter of choice, living in the moment

I was out at a play the other week; I had gone along with my mother and her friend on the promise of going out for dinner after. It was a small thing and the play was interesting enough, I was told it would only be about an hour long which was good because I was very hungry as I had been working out with my clubbells not too long before. When it finished, however, there was an announcement that there would be a short break and then we would return for some music…
Upon returning to my seat I found myself feeling a little frustrated as it was getting late and I was getting really hungry, and thoughts wondering just how long it was going to take were entering my head. It was at this point I realised something.

I had a choice!

I could choose to sit there and grumble, and feel bored and frustrated, wishing it would all hurry up and end so I could feed my grumbling belly. Or I could relax and enjoy the music. The first option is a little pointless as it doesn’t make time go any faster, and all it serves to do is lessen my ability to enjoy what turned out to be some beautiful music. So, as I have been finding I am doing with increasing regularity, I chose the second option and I enjoyed every moment of the amazing Turkish flute and weird bagpipes and so on that followed.

It’s an amazing thing, this choice. For myself, the more I choose to be in the moment and to just enjoy wherever I am and whatever I am doing for the simple reason that I am currently there and it’s not possible to be anywhere else, the more I find that negative emotions and feelings of the past have been disappearing. It is less and less that I ever find myself bored, or depressed, or angry, or frustrated. I have also found that my work ethic has improved (I was a very slack worker in the past) along with my ability to listen to and have successful interactions with others. In general my enjoyment of life has improved out of sight!

Nowadays I honour where I am now. I enjoy my journey and find that every moment is a new moment, it’s never the same and I’m always growing. It's really very exciting.

All great spiritual teachers have spoken about this sense of presence in some way or another. But it’s not something mystical, it’s not something unattainable. It’s merely a matter of choice.
Each moment of every day we are faced with this. We can be caught in our fantasies and daydreams of the future and be dissatisfied with where we are now, we can be lost in the past and constantly wishing we had done things differently, or we can be right here right now.
It’s a choice we all have.

Finally had a chance to read this. Nice article neimad. I've been going through something very similar recently. Opening up into the present. Even when the present involves something like the pressure of a deadline, allowing myself to stay open and grounded in the now and flow through the pressure as a present moment-to-moment experience. This is in contrast to having my energy do something like contract up into my head into a mental projection of time as being a real, linear force outside of myself and imposed upon "poor little me". In this scenario I am left struggling against a mental illusion of a past and future sandwich. Now, when I notice I am doing this I continue my work without stopping while simultaneously allowing myself to recognize the inescapably true and real felt connection with Now as all I can really know. In this Now-space there is only sensation floating in an infinite, timeless moment. I notice what eventually pulls me from continuing to open into this space is basically fear. My mind fears how infinitely open this space is, there is literally nothing to stand on or hold on to, even the feeling that I have my feet on the ground or my fingers are typing are just sensations arising in a mysterious sea without boundaries.

Sean

thanks sean.

opening up more to the present changes EVERYTHING huh?
perspective is entirely changed and all those silly little things we spend most of our time dwelling on dissapear. life becomes easier and more enjoyable.

however i think there are degrees of presence... like i am still at a fairly superficial level of presence, i am aware that i can only deepen this presence further and further. there is no end point until we are once again one with the universe.

i understand about the fear, fear is really and truly our only limiting factor.... but i think it's also such a useful thing. it gives us an opprtunity to have this journey..... we are all trying so hard to get to the end point (whatever we want to call it, enlightnement, etc) yet the journey is what gives us that oppurtunity.

deepening presence only makes it so much more enjoyable.

i have found for myself that my emotions have become so stable. i used to be some kind of depressive... i would be really depressed for a week or two, then all of a sudden i would be high for a week, then low again.... this was continous.

now i'm just at the same place all the time. you'd think it would get boring, but it doesn't. it's like i can have emotions, but i am watching them from a place of stability (although when i feel happiness or joy, i let myself enter into that... but when i feel angry, frustrated or sad... i just observe that and don't even go into it). like there is some disconnection between the emotions (which i have come to realise are entirely biochemical... these simple emotions are just part of the physical body, hormones etc... which is why diet is so important in regards to state of well-being) and this thing i identify with as being "me". i understand that the body is a part of me, but it's only a part.

This post has been edited by neimad: Jun 1 2006, 10:52 PM

neimad - well written dude! enjoyable, and something that i too can relate to.

I think you'd be very interested in the book by Christopher Hansard - The Tibetan Art of Serenity. It gives meditations with the sole purpose of dissolving fear. They've worked wonders for me... He describes the choice you highlighted into unskillful and skillful thinking, this is gone into more depth in another of his - Tibetan Art of Positive Thinking.

He gives you the tools to tackle all your perceived fears and patterns of habitual thinking. As you progress you notice an increase in energy as blockages are removed. Thus it improves traditional Taoist cultivation methods such as Qigong. My progress has been constant since discovering these books... enjoy

Neimad,

You might find the following article of interest. It was basically an experiment to put one of the world's greatest violonist in a subway to see if people would notice the quality of his music.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/conte...7040401721.html

Not surprisingly, very few people stopped.