I almost feel like having sex with a girl who is not a taoist is a bad idea.

Look at the taoist practices-they are supposed to bring all kinds of bliss?

Why dont we all do them?

Perhaps when the student is ready the teacher will appear.

Is it normal, the way I feel? What are some experiences comparing sex with a cultivator vs. working out the issues of one-sided cultivation? Is it a problem? Or not at all?

My problem is that I feel like I am on a different level than a lot of girls who I am close with. But meeting new ones its like we are on the same level: lets do it. However, this makes makes slightly turned off due to the fact that maybe they are, I dont know, unclean in some way? Like they dont have a spiritual connection.

Can one person in sex have a deep spiritual connection while the other is aloof?

Wow, I hope you are joking about women who aren't Taoists being unclean, because frankly that is ridiculous. There are many paths up the mountain, my friend. You don't have to be a Taoist to be spiritual, not all non-Taoists are "aloof."

I have the same kinds of intuitions at times, GT. Of course, this would be in vice-versa. I have such reservations and prerequisites for sex it seems at various points and although I am far from frigid and closed minded to sex type play. I am from the mind of being less sexually active if I am with a person who blatantly releases without cares or has no real core energy. I cannot pinpoint what would cause this loss of being "on the level", but it is obvious that these different levels exist in all walks of life containing the faces of many different aspects.
Honestly, though...if you are a seeker of "love" and dedicated relationships, if you find a person who you think would fit the bill perfectly then you can just use communication to convey how you feel and you can indeed educate to your cause. If they reject or accept, both will benefit from a modification in character. Learning and growing, learning and growing.

My last relationship ended because the gentleman could not accept some of my reservations. He was definitely into sex every night and ejac'in, and dropping into sleep and not putting too much thought into anything else after the few seconds of mindless joy overloaded his pea brain and then sent him into his deep lucid state...
I let my feelings known, and also the fact that I was not flexible on it known, and now he's states away lookin for the next victim... ha ha ha

A few times in my life I have had to intentedly grieve the women I didn't love. The women witt whom I connected, but could not hook up. For letting the flower die.

Don't think about it, if you love her or like her purely, then do what feels comfortable.

But, sex is a powerful act, and you will have energetic cords that bind you to her.

And, feeling a sexual attraction and not acting on it, you will have wierd energetic cords that bind you to her. It is those cords that I grieved, and transformed.

You're in the spider-web of later-heaven...what do you do!?

Interesting Topic this.. This dodgy russian guy mentions in this text something about it how it can be bad for you to engage in sexual acts with someone who are not "on your level" (whatever that would be) seen from an energetic perspective.

But he has written mainly a lot of BS in there.. not too sane dude I'd from analysing his writing. However, maybe there's something to it after all?

you will also have energetic cords that bind you to people with whom you exchange any sexual/emotional energy, and they can be draining. Cutting the ties that bind is a good ritual which sorts this out.

I feel the same as OP, I am very uncertain of getting sexually involved with someone not "on my level' and I feel it is an instinctive holding back. Sex for me, means something quite quite different than it means for someone not involed in these practises. It'd be a huge step to share my sexuality with someone who isnt aware of subtle body - when I have done it, it has seemed strangely flat to me , despite orgasms, laughter, sweating, release - all the typical ingredients for 'a fun time sexually' and yet afterward i have simply felt - "well, I really dont need to do that again.'

A bit "so what" - ish.

Grand Trinity wrote:

"I almost feel like having sex with a girl who is not a taoist is a bad idea."


Great, more for the rest of us.

Seriously, if you parse through what virutally everyone said above you've find one common idea: lighten up -- it's hard enough to connect with someone, don't put rules around who you can and can't connect with, seek out love and take it in whatever form it blesses you.

It's an idea I wholeheartedly agree with.

I'll add one futher thought that's a little less greeting card and a little more Freud: don't ignore the innate hang ups and shyness that all of us have, and the incredible rationalizations we use to justify them.

I.e., "oh, she's not on my level" or "I'm not interested in people of that character" or "most women use their reptilian brain so really connection with most of them isn't possible" or whaever other rationalization you can use to justify the fact that you (like all of us) are scared and awkward and don't have a clue as to how to really attract and connect with another human being.

Just my two cents.

Well toots, like they say, "Once you go Plato and Max, you never go bax!"

Unless you are Polish, of course!

I find myself very in tune with Spyrelx pv on this.

Connecting with another human being is seriosuly hard.

The cultural meme is that men want to fuck and women want a relationship. Well, I find more and more that man are seriously into looking for moommy. Or at least for a serious relationship that would provide them with all they need and they can get sucking their thumb in the womb.
Often women feel this so they refuse casual sex even when they would want it. Add to this that biologically their body seem to corner them into serious horniness less, and you have the base for the unbalance that you find in today social economy of sex.

On the other hand a man who finds a woman that is in love with him will often first fuck her and then let her go. Some people would say that men are more assholes because of this. Others (and I am among them) that men are more generous. And others just that men know that they don't know when will they have another easy laid.

I agree with you that there are some woman that shouldn't be fucked (by a certain person). But I would not draw the line on the cultural religious path that a person is following. There is something else. Since I don't know its name I call it "chemistry". There is no path to "chemistry" either is there or is not there. Years ago I thought that "chemistry" was not important. Now I see it as fundamental.

Before I would be looking for woman who were seriously beautiful. Now, although I don't despise beauty I am not moved by it at all. If there is no "chemistry" beauty is useless, and, frankly, quite boring.

I would be looking for women who were spiritully similar to me, now I see similarity as uninteresting, and never a source for chemistry. For chemistry feeds on differences. So if the woman you have interest for is also a Taoist, then Taoism is probably not where the "chemistry" is.

And still you might find a woman who is very different to you in everything... and there is no chemistry at all. So it's a mystery and you are much better off following your guts ("yes", "no") feelings than rationalizing ("...not with her because she is no taoist").

And speaking about it all, I have started a blog in the blogs section and just in those days I am taking distance from a sweetheart.

I'm with Spyrelx and Pietro on this too. There's a telling scene in Road Trip where this guy doesn't want to go on a date with a woman who like hims and his mate says something alone the lines of 'Don't be a plonker! By the time you're forty you'd have to pay to go out with a women like that.' Also didn't Lao Tzu fall for an 'ordinary' woman?

The reason I started this thread is because a really attractive girl was giving me like 5 different signals that she wanted me to make a move. Instead of making a move I just relaxed and did not take action. I think it also had to do with some bad energy I got from somone else that night. However, this concept of choosing a mate is very important. Certaintly there is energetic cords that keep us attached. Its not about making more cords (as much as you can?) I think, but rather, it is about making the quality of those cords cosmic.

Thank you all for answering my questions. I mostly agree with 2 trees, but I see the points in all of your opinions. Orgasm can be shallow or it can be universal. Our whole lives can be one big orgasm as taoists, or not! The mates we choose are a important, delicate and fruitful to think about.

How many people here engage in dual cultivation? How many people are happy with it? I doubt more than a couple of us. Dual cultivation is very hard to work cosmicaly, but that doesnt mean it cant be done. Shit, I never done it but in my 3rd eye I could see it happening if I keep my chi pure.

GT,

What you are experiencing is a sign of correct cultivation. Guess what? Most women are filthy. So are most men, for that matter. It has nothing to do with taking a shower either. Their chi is like a swamp.

Ever been with a girl and she is so hot yet you can't get erect? There is nothing wrong with you. Your penis has intelligence and is trying to protect you from the woman. A penis is an energy communication instrument.

Since most women are filthy and inherently egomaniacal, they get pissed off at your enlightened statement (as opposed to men who could care less if they are called filthy).

When your nose starts to open up, you will be amazed at how many people's internal organs stink of sickness. Some people even smell like the dead because they are, yet remain too stubborn to lie down.

There are 3 main ways that women get so dirty:

1. Poor Diet
2. Bad Thoughts
3. Undigested Semen (vaginas are NOT self-cleaning)

#3 will of course create the biggest uproar, but the fact is that virgin girls are so pure because they have not become a sperm toilet for men. As they say "it is easier to clean a pole then it is a hole." Contrast a farm girl from Fujian with bar girl in Pataya. The purity of some girls is amazing! Jealous females will say all sorts of shit to invalidate their purity, but those with some cultivation know what the deal is!

Don't get me wrong, I love dirty whores but my hellish tastes do not invalidate your heavenly observations--on my sexual menu spoiled meat simply has the best taste.

When I was 18 and still a virgin (I think I lost it as 20) somebody was making fun of me because I hadn't gotten laid. This old, grizzled man was hanging out in the area and said "He's just scared--and rightfully so. Maybe he instinctively knows women?"

How right that old man was. I can tell you that when the Taoists declared the bedroom a battlefield they weren't joking. Sexual relationships are a deadly war for energy and anyone who thinks otherwise is already a dead man or else a female covering her twisted (albeit perfectly natural) agenda.

There is nothing wrong with fucking anything, as long as you are aware of what it is that you are fucking. Listen to your cock. If you aren't naturally hard without thought then don't fuck that girl. If you think her chi is dirty then it is. If you even have the thought to use a condom use it.

Of course, Spyrelx has a good point. Don't use judgement of another to rationalize not being able to close a set. Try downloading the Mystery Method ebook if you want to up your game.

-P

I agree with SheepishLord, that if your instinct says "dont go with that energy" then - dont. APART from anything else about swamps and energetic ties, it just isnt BLISS like you experience other ways.

I say this having been married twice and NOT suffering from fears of intimacy or lack of ability to
get close to people. or just screw them, even.

Hey, why dont you use the "Human Pendulum" method I posted a little while ago (the post was called something like "Inner Guidance") to find out whether your energy is compatible with someone you're thinking of sleeping with.

Remember your concious mind can only concentrate on 7 +or-2 pieces of information at one time ... sometimes your 'intuitions' are just little mind games... much better to put your unconcious to work on desiding such things for you... Just say to yourself "X girl's energy is compatible with and beneficial to mine" then test it using the technique... it couldn't be simpler.

It's very easy to fall into a trap where since you practice all these mysterious things to start to believe everything your monkey mind throws at you... sometimes an idea may pop into your head saying "her energy is too dirty" - it may only have popped up to protect you from the possibility of rejection.

Perhaps, many years from now, after diligent practice, you may start having a concious connection to your intuition... and then things will get simpler, for now you have to use the wisdom of your body to help you along. (Just a little hint - the more you use the above technique the more you will get used to following your intuition, and the quicker you will be able to access it conciously, without having to use any techniques.)

Interesting, SheephishLord. So if an inherently egomaniacal and twisted man uses a condom, does that mean that his filthy swamp-like sick semen will not dirty up the virgin girl's pure vagina?

Yes, Lozen--as long as she doesn't drink his semen from the spent condom afterwards.

Dunno, seem to me fairly obvious if someone's energy is compatible or not.

But I had quite a nice time imagining you, closed in the toilet, with a beautiful chick wanting to make love just outside and asking you out, while you are trying hard to concentrate: "Oh pendulum, pendulum of wonders, do tell me the truth, is this girl ok for me or not ?"

Hehe Fortunately this hasn't happened to me (yet )

Actualy I was refering to what Grand Trinity was saying... I thought that maybe he was experiencing this secondary-gain effect, judging from what he said.



Firstly 'a really attractive girl' suggests he liked her... Secondly 'Instead of making a move I... did not take action' - suggests he wanted to make a move, but something stoped him. And finally the justification that it had to do with some bad energy further suggests another thing that people tend to do - they tend to have 'logical' justifications for illogical behaviour. All of this made me think there was this secondary-gain thing going on (hey - I've experienced enough of it to know what the signs are).

So what was the secondary gain in thinking that a girl might not be 'right' energetically? - well initialy not making the move stops you from having to feel the stress of 'shit i better go and talk to that hot girl' - but also the possibility of being turned down or looking foolish etc.

since this self-defeating strategy obviously 'worked' (as in he didnt make the move) - it's likely to pop up again in the future, and if it keeps working and he keeps affirming it, he will end up never making a move on a girl he likes. So my suggestions to use the pendulum technique was to allow him to bypass his monkey-mind to make the right decission. I've had these self-defeating thought loops happen to me so many times that I readily recognise them - but recognising aint enough.

It's great that you can judge someones energetic compatibility, it's something that I cant do (yet ). How do you know when someone is compatible or incompatible to you? Do you even have to ask yourself - or is it just plain obvious? If it's just obvious, what lets you know? (how they look, how you feel, sound of their voice etc.) I'd really like to know, because I find looks can be very decieving, yet some people can really intuitively feel what the person's like - I'd like to learn how to do that.

You know, I really don't know. It is just plain obvious. But I understand your point. It wasn't always so. I even remember making love with a woman just because she was virgin and liked me. So I would say it was a sort of trial and error that eventually led me to distinguish between false desire coming from the monkey mind and desire coming from chemistry. But still, even now, when I go with a woman I keep my senses open and I always pay attention to the signals of my body. Sometiems I feel a great attraction for a woman, and as we approach I discover that it was an intellectual attraction, and sex is just going to be very clumsy.

BTW I remember Juan Lee asking to the I Ching every morning: "Am I supposed to marry the girl I met yesterday evening at the pub?" And the I ching would always answer:"Wait, there are things you don't know."
Eventually the I Ching answered: Success! Work to be done.
And he commented, of course, She is not perfect .

Then they got married and every time theyhad a fight he would go back looking at that hexagram of the iching and wondering: I must have misunderstood something of this hexagram somwhere

Between 2 people if there is contention with mundane issues the battle is already lost. If some is accepting or rejecting you it is usually on materialistic issues like status, employment, ego so energetics of male and female, despite it being obvious, is lost. If people are looking for a free financial ride (male or female) with the normal USA lifestyle, then none of this Daoist stuff will work.

People will end up using it as part of their "spiritual materislistic" tool box (per Chogyam Trungpa) and it become the glue to entrap and abuse others. Nothing more.