Bumped into David Deida's work through a fascinating workshop on integral spirituality he conducted with Ken Wilber (mp3's available on Integral Naked, 1, 2 and 3. Need to subscribe though, it's like $10 a month but worth it for the great content IMO). His most powerful work seems to center on sacred intimacy. His book for men (or, as he points out, any person with a more masculine than feminine essence) is called Way of the Superior Man and one for those with a stronger feminine essence (statistically women) called Dear Lover. Both of those links lead to PDF e-book downloads of several chapters of the book.

Here are some cool quotes I've snagged from what I've read of his so far:

"Live with your lips pressed against your fears, kissing your fears, neither pulling back nor aggressively violating them."

"The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openness, and depth."

"There are two ways to deal with woman and world without compromising your true gifts or dribbling away the force of your deep being. One way is to renounce sexual intimacy and worldliness, totally dedicating yourself without distraction or compromise to the path you choose to pursue, free of the seemingly constant demands of woman and world.
The other way is to “fuck” both to smithereens, to ravish them with your love unsheathed, to give your true gifts despite the constant tussle of woman and world, to smelt your authentic gifts in this friction of opposition and surrender, to thrust love from the freedom of your deep being even as your body and mind die blissfully through a crucifixion of inevitable pleasure and pain, attraction and repulsion, gain and loss. No gifts left ungiven. No limit to the depth of being. Only openness, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with woman and world."

"If your surrender into communion is not as strong as hers, she will return to the place of your limiting fear, your weak link, and test you there. If you collapse or react with unlove when she questions your financial ability, she will continue to do so. If you feel weakened when she questions your sexual ability, she will continue to do so, implicitly or explicitly.
She will never trust your “lighter” masculine capacities until you have proven your “darker” masculine capacities. Your woman has an intuitive knowledge concerning your consciousness. She knows that if you are not free to meet her dark destructress energy and ravish her in love, you won’t be free to meet the dark destructress of the world—who will challenge your spiritual freedom—with strength and love.
You need not concern yourself with pleasing her. That’s not the point. She is offering you a gift. She is presenting you with an energy in the form of her mood and emotion, offering you an opportunity to learn to “master” this energy with your fearless loving. Whatever energy she offers you, you can be sure the world will offer it to you as well. If you have ever tried to increase your income, or magnify your spiritual clarity, you know that the world will test you. Only through your persistence, fearlessness, and loving service does the world yield to your efforts.
And the same is true of your woman. You are not trying to please her. You are learning to pervade the world, including her, with consciousness and love. That is what you are here to do."

Nice work Dave.

Sean

His CD course from Sounds True is called Enlightened Sex. Would you rather me get that or the Adya retreat? Link if you want to check.

http://store.yahoo.com/soundstruestore/af00839d.html

Ah, that's just about being a good writer with low testosterone.

The best erotic male writer I've met was a kid I went to high school with. He'd spend his time in class writing erotica. He kept it to himself and was a normal kid otherwise, but my friend and I would fish out the occational draft he'd throw away. We were so impressed that we walked into the school office and ran off 100 copies to post around school. Ironically, the girl who I wanted to invite to the prom was the one who blew the whistle on my publishing efforts.

-Yoda

Funnily enough, I went to see a friend this weekend, and he had three of Mr Deida's books waiting in his pile of semi-read stuff. I skimmed one of them pretty thoroughly, think it was "way of the superior man" or something like that.

As the quotes you post above suggest, he has quite an interesting take on true yang and true yin, and a pleasantly controversial way of putting it.

But very little actual practice. My friend said his "technique" book was directly lifted from chia, even down to the diagrams, without acknowledgement.

What my friend recommended, which I've since ordered two copies of cos it's great, was a book by Diana Richardson. This has been published as "The Love Keys" and also as "The Heart of Tantric Sex." The latter is more likely to be available as a cheap paperback, but it's the same book either way.

She acknowledges Barry Long and Osho as her main influences, and makes the teachings very accessible.

There is another book of hers called "tantric orgasm for women", which doesn't have quite the same spark, but more material about breasts, which is always nice.

Happy trails,
I

Yeah, I noticed his techniques are a little thin and closely resemble Chia's work. Chia's work is practically public domain though at this point, it's been circulated through so many disparate fields and back again and I think it's also encouraged other Chi Kung teachers to come forward and teach their knowledge of MCO, etc. So it's hard to say for sure what is a direct rip. What I am digging out of Deida is actually the more theoretical stuff on polarities. As I'm sure you're aware of my distaste for gender absolutes, he speaks in a way that doesn't rub that ... I think gender polarities/differences is work I have sorely needed to address I just hadn't stumbled across a teacher that didn't irritate me (ie: John Gray). I've also read that Barry Long places a little too much emphasis on relationship problems/success being more the man's fault/responsibility which turns some people off ... maybe he's right, I dunno. I want to read Long's stuff for sure, and thanks for the Diana Richardson recommendation.

Oh yeah, one thing Deida talks about is breathing the MCO all throughout your day whenever you remember. Refreshing twist though is that he has you inhaling down the front channel and exhaling up the spinal channel. Pretty nice.


Sean

A good friend of mine said " what it takes to be a real man is to have brains, heart and balls. If you are so lucky to be lacking in any one of these, you will do good with women. If you have them all, you're in trouble...

h

Oh, that is so my excuse from now on. Thanks hagar.

When I was at Tao Mountain I was sitting at a table with Winn who was telling someone about how he helped Deida write the technical section (big draw sort of orbit of sex chi in orgasm) in Wasy of the Superior Man. That is a pretty okay book. All of Deida's materials is pretty darn nice and I look forward to studying it.

I will look into Diane and have a copy of Tantric Quest. Also, I am REAL interested in studying all the work of Katrina Kittles. Google her!