I am not

tonight the winter rain
melts the snow into the grey sky
the tree barks dark and wet
the wind blends into the bending pines

it is here now it fills one
the song of a million yesterdays
fills this empty afternoon
the touch so firmly gentle
on the rough edge of man
forever without time
it is and i am not

Love it!

...except for the tree "barking", and the last line mirroring the first-- those contrivances are too cutesy for me.

Wonderful mood evocation.

thanks,
Chris

thank you for your critique
you have very valid statements regarding the contrivances
i was really unaware of them. i see it now.

peace and happy pancakes,
paul

This is beautiful. It conjures the idea of nature merging in itself (eg "wind blends", snow melting into the sky) and the idea of "firmly gentle" is sensual and draws the tension of opposites manifest by the tao. Hope that makes sense! And I'm a bit of a sucker for repeating lines in poetry so I liked the "i am not" twice. From a taoist perspective, it draws in all the stuff about repeating patterns, seasons, etc... I vote for you to stick with it as it is!!!!

Great, your poem was the highlight of my afternoon,
Tony

i am pleased you understand
it remains as is
just so....like the oneness
that this poem tries in vain
to explain