I might as well be straight forward about this, I'm a bit of a Japanophile. I love the language, history, flashy technology, super convenient public transportation, videogames, anime, karaoke, martial arts, Japanese food, sense of community and loyalty, love for all things cute, etc. Yes, I know Japan has a dark side too, conformity to authority over individuality can lead to unfairness, there's a general distrust of foreigners, pornography is everywhere, politeness is often just for show, and the language can be frustratingly ambiguous. Nevertheless I am drawn to Japan, so much so that I'm considering living there permanently, or at least for several years, and I'm also drawn to the idea of marrying a Japanese girl. So I've been looking around at dating and matching sites and found this little gem. I laughed so hard when I read this. This site is all about capitalizing on the "submissive Asian woman" stereotype.

http://www.nomarriage.com/x/japanesewife.html

Nothing against American women, but I've always had trouble connecting with them and I think this radical feminism described here has something to do with it. Although, I'm sure a lot of it is just in my own head too. Still, the only serious relationship I've been able to have in my life so far was with a German girl. I've always been frustrated by situations where women or minorities automatically get the moral high ground because they feel they've been "oppressed" or "discriminated against" when really they just want special treatment. Anyways, *steps off angst-filled white boy soap box* just curious, does anyone have any advice, experience or amusing anecdotes about cross-cultural relationships?

"oppressed" and "discriminated against" aren't words that do a very good job of shedding light on the fact that 1 in 3 women on college campuses have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime.

feminism didn't create the problems; it created empowerment to combat the problems.

This mother of all factoids is based on a fallacious feminist study commissioned by Ms. magazine. The researcher, Mary Koss, hand-picked by hard-line feminist Gloria Steinem, acknowledges that 73 percent of the young women she counted as rape victims were not aware they had been raped. Forty-three percent of them were dating their “attacker” again. - Wendy McElroy

In the FBI’s Behavioral Science Unit’s study of False Allegations conducted in 1983 of 556 rape investigations, a total of 220 (40%) of these reported rapes turned out to be false. Over one fourth of these 556 turned out to be hoaxes.

1/3 of men accused, tried, convicted, and imprisoned for rape mismatch the DNA.

The divorce rate in Japan has risen by 26.5% in 10 years, according to the health ministry.

The number of divorces among couples married for 20 years or more hit 42,000 in 2004, double those recorded in 1985.

Divorces among those married for more than 30 years quadrupled during the same period.

BS. If you really study Anglo-feminism...you will be surprised to learn that most of their stats are completely cooked.

The only guys who believe these unbacked claims without question do so because...they still naively believe in outdated stereotypes of women as the weaker, more chaste, "nobler" sex. Quite ironic, indeed.

As for the "1/4 of coeds have been raped" claim:
Yup, you've been HOODWINKED, dude!

Now as far as Japanese women...definitely you will be better off with any foreign women...but Anglo-misandrism is spreading far and wide these days so don't let your guard down either.. Divorce and other modern Anglo ills are sharply on the rise there now too.
Anyhow, no offense to the ladies here...I actually believe that women getting more in touch with their natural Yin power (like in Taoism) is far healthier for both them, and us. This actually counteracts the problem I see with Anglo-feminism and their drag-king Yang-posturing - which ultimately derives from a total ignorance of the true power of Yin femininity.

i am hetero but first of all - a person. i am not convinced that a western male necessarily finds his ultimate spouse for cultivation in an eastern woman. i can approve and understand both intellectually and emotionally, but i think it can reflect "an easy way out". that is you are skipping the fact that you are also genderless. you are a person. i think you are trying to postpone the final confrontation with what happens to sex when you fully accept this. you unconsciously think you are going to deflate if you're not sure you are male. you are clinging to your yang.

i give diddlysquat for your links on false reports. hunduns statistics are trustwothy.

Personally, I try to form my own opinions based upon personal research - not mass rhetoric.

--the do some real research and then get back to me. ms. magazine didn't corner the market of sexual assault stats.

i've done the research. i've been out of the academic loop for a few years now, but i used to teach policy analysis and research methods, not to mention social theory, which included feminism (and not just the anglo variety).

same goes for the "were not aware they had been raped" statement. many girls still feel like if they were too afraid or too drunk or for whatever reason failed to vocalize a "no," then it doesn't count as rape. THIS is one of the many reasons why the work of feminism is so important.

Sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention. Examples of this are voyeurism (when someone watches private sexual acts), exhibitionism (when someone exposes him/herself in public), incest (sexual contact between family members), and sexual harassment.

Now as far as Japanese women...definitely you will be better off with any foreign women...

I reckon this attraction to members outside your 'tribe' has two reasons - one evolutionary and another one is that differences in language and habitual memes often facillitate a much deeper connection - beyond the superficial.

I reckon this attraction to members outside your 'tribe' has two reasons - one evolutionary and another one is that differences in language and habitual memes often facillitate a much deeper connection - beyond the superficial.

Okay - first off, I find this conversation really offensive. Vortex - you have no idea what it means to be a woman in this culture or any other. You have not been sexually abused by a father, or an uncle, or any other male figure who you looked up to, admired, and thought was looking out for your best interest. I have been. My sisters have been. Other women I know have been. So don't start spouting off about concocted figures from some poll done decades ago. Hundun - thank you for your reasoned response. It is gratifying to know that some men actually DO get it.

the study used very broad definitions of rape which sometimes included kissing, fondling, and other activities that few people would call rape. In fact, only 27 percent of those women counted as having been raped actually labeled themselves as rape victims. Also, 42 percent of those counted as rape victims went on to have sex with their "attackers" on a later occasion.

finally i am so sorry veecee i truly am. I've been knocked down a few times myself. life is such a precious thing.

Well, yea by THAT definition...a girl who gets hit on by some geek in high school got unwanted sexual attention...and thus was "sexually assaulted."

"I'm offended" therefore I'm right and you're wrong.

I'm still not sure how we went from cross-cultural issues to sexual abuse.

I wish I had the time to make a more prominent contribution to this thread. But I (predictibly for those that know me) stand next to Vortex in everything he has written so far.

Pietro, I am not surprised that you stand by Vortex. However, I stand by my question of what does any of this have to do with cross-cultural issues?

V.

Vortex - I did not say your stats were concocted. You said that most stats used by "feminists" are concocted!

So how 'bout we drop the sexual abuse issue and start talking about cross-cultural issues.

Gloria Steinem informed her readers that "in this country alone...about 150,000 females die of anorexia each year."

"According to [the] last March of Dimes report, domestic violence (vs. pregnant women) is now responsible for more birth defects than all other causes combined."

In January 1993 newspaper and television networks reported an alarming statistic. They stated that the incidence of domestic violence tended to rise by 40 percent on Super Bowl Sunday.

Some studies, for example, have suggested that secretaries and truck drivers are "comparable" jobs. Both involve long periods of sitting, similar amounts of training, and repetitive tasks. Therefore, it is argued, the pay of secretaries (a female-dominated occupation) should be equal to the pay of truck drivers (a male-dominated occupation).

In 39 of the occupations Farrell found, women's median earnings exceeded men's earnings by at least 5 percent and in some cases by as much as 43 percent.

"At the kunlun seminar, women were naturals since it's a Yin art. "

??? say that again please is kick-boxing a yang art then? what is this? if i am a woman i should not work with my yang?, or do you mean since we ascend shen and ground it's yin art?.

I am a male survivor of childhood molestation. I have to chime in here; the issue of sexual abuse is NOT a male vs. female, yin/yang nature discussion. It is a discussion about predators, people, male or female, who prey upon individuals they percieve as weak or helpless in order to gratify themselves. That's all.

This is not an issue that will ever be resolved by continuing the gender bias paradigm. It is true in our society that men are encouraged to behave in predatory ways more often than women, but that is changing. Rates of violent crimes are on the rise among women in the U.S., while they have remained relatively stable among the male populace. The root of this evil is involved more in the way people think, not the bits they were born with.

I am a male survivor of childhood molestation. I have to chime in here; the issue of sexual abuse is NOT a male vs. female, yin/yang nature discussion. It is a discussion about predators, people, male or female, who prey upon individuals they percieve as weak or helpless in order to gratify themselves. That's all.

This is not an issue that will ever be resolved by continuing the gender bias paradigm. It is true in our society that men are encouraged to behave in predatory ways more often than women, but that is changing. Rates of violent crimes are on the rise among women in the U.S., while they have remained relatively stable among the male populace. The root of this evil is involved more in the way people think, not the bits they were born with.

I was determined to try to break the chain of violence. But as the local newspaper picked up the story of our house, I grew worried about a very different threat.

I knew that the radical feminist movement was running out of national support because more sensible women had shunned their anti-male, anti-family agenda. Not only were they looking for a cause, they also wanted money.

In 1974, the women living in my refuge organised a meeting in our local church hall to encourage other groups to open refuges across the country.

We were astonished and frightened that many of the radical lesbian and feminist activists that I had seen in the collectives attended. They began to vote themselves into a national movement across the country.

After a stormy argument, I left the hall with my abused mothers - and what I had most feared happened.

In a matter of months, the feminist movement hijacked the domestic violence movement, not just in Britain, but internationally.

Our grant was given to them and they had a legitimate reason to hate and blame all men. They came out with sweeping statements which were as biased as they were ignorant. "All women are innocent victims of men's violence," they declared.

They opened most of the refuges in the country and banned men from working in them or sitting on their governing committees.

With the first donation we received in 1972, we employed a male playgroup leader because we felt our children needed the experience of good, gentle men. We devised a treatment programme for women who recognised that they, too, were violent and dysfunctional. And we concentrated on children hurt by violence and sexual abuse.

Yet the feminist refuges continued to create training programmes that described only male violence against women. Slowly, the police and other organisations were brainwashed into ignoring the research that was proving men could also be victims.

I was picketed by hundreds of women from feminist refuges, holding placards which read: "All men are bastards" and "All men are rapists".

I became aware of a far more insidious development in the form of public policy-making by powerful women, which was creating a poisonous attitude towards men.

in a social policy paper called The Family Way.

It said: "It cannot be assumed that men are bound to be an asset to family life, or that the presence of fathers in families is necessarily a means to social harmony and cohesion."

It was a staggering attack on men and their role in modern life.

For nearly four decades, these pernicious attitudes towards family life, fathers and boys have permeated the thinking of our society to such an extent that male teachers and carers are now afraid to touch or cuddle children.

Men can be accused of violence towards their partners and sexual abuse without evidence. Courts discriminate against fathers and refuse to allow them access to their children on the whims of vicious partners.

the feminist movement envisaged a new Utopia that depended upon destroying family life. In the new century, so their credo ran, the family unit will consist of only women and their children. Fathers are dispensable. And all that was yoked - unforgivably - to the debate about domestic violence.

To my mind, it has never been a gender issue - those exposed to violence in early childhood often grow up to repeat what they have learned, regardless of whether they are girls or boys.

I believe that vision was hijacked by vengeful women who have ghetto-ised the refuge movement and used it to persecute men. - Erin Pizzey, author of the first book in the world on domestic violence in 1974 - Scream Quietly Or The Neighbours Will Hear

Vortex, I see the book you're quoting from is from 1974. There was a rise in radical feminism then, I think the pendulum has swung back quite a bit. To me it sounds like you're fighting a war thats largely over. The pendulum swings. Forces and counter forces come into existence.